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This morning I was perusing the internet news areas and read an interesting article about humor.  Now, I don’t consider myself an awesome comedian, not even an excellent joke teller; in fact my kids think I can be a bit corny!! I, on the other hand, have been know to make myself laugh!! The premise of the article was that different cultures see different things as funny. Then the question was asked, “is what we see as humorous a reflection on us as a culture?” Honestly, that was a bit too deep for me this morning, so I thought I would post a few jokes here today, and let you decide if they are funny.  If you can top them, by all means, please do so. With all the “yucky” stuff in the world today, who is going to turn down a few laughs.  Enjoy!!

Joke #1

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.

She turns to the man next to her and says, “That driver just insulted me!”

The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead. I’ll stay here and hold your monkey.”

Joke #2

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What should I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, “Okay, now what?”

Joke #3

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

Joke #4

Texan: “Where are you from?”

Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”

Texan: “Okay—where are you from, jackass?”

Joke #5 (My favorite)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After finishing their dinner, they retire for the night. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see,” the famed sleuth says.

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” exclaims Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?” Holmes asks.

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are but a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

“Watson, you idiot!” Sherlock exclaims, “Somebody’s stolen our tent!”

I hope these gave you a good laugh or at least a nice chuckle.  Have a great day, and a wonderful weekend!! Go out and do something good in the world today.  If nothing else, you may bring a smile to the face of someone else.